it’s all about pockets of time.  some day, when the children are older, i envision spending hours at a time creating.  long photo walks.  a table at the cafe down the street with pen and paper.  hands covered with paint.  needle and thread and swaths of fabric across my lap.  this will come, the extended creative time.  when the time is right.

right now, all of my creative, artistic urges get satisfied in bits and pieces.  i need to create, i feel this so deeply.  and now that my children are a little older {just 11 and 7…but i’m talking older versus the toddler and preschool ages that seem just like yesterday}, it feels doable.  and so i pick up my camera or phone and i take a few pictures; then i set the camera down.  or i sit next to my children working on their math, and i scribble in my journal; and when they need assistance, i put the pen down.  or i play with my colored pencils for perhaps 20 minutes and when the day and the children are needing me to move on, i drop the pencils back into their jars and i step away from my desk.

it can all feel a bit choppy and there’s a time when i might have viewed these pockets are not enough.  but it is enough…for right now.  i have found mediums {photography and writing and, to a smaller extent, drawing} which allow my creative soul to expand and explore…all within the confines of my present life.  which, like yours, is full.  mine happens to be full of children and homeschooling and homemaking.  and, honestly, i would have it no other way; i appreciate and rather adore my life.  but i want to share this life with the creative girl inside me.  she’s valid too.  she colors the way i embrace all of my life.  and so daily i look for little bits of time where i can write or sketch or photograph.  it’s not effortless; i make concerted efforts to carve these bits into my day.  some days it feels fairly easy and natural.  other days, i feel like i am begging the kids for 20 minutes of silence so that i can just.write.something.

on the days where i don’t carve nuggets of time?  because, yes, they worm their way into my neat, little, creative plan-of-pockets.  on those days, i feel a bit out of sorts.  my creative nuggets have become a stabilizer for me…if i don’t have them, i definitely feel it.  but, when this happens, i close my eyes to that day…and, when i awake to the newness of that day’s tomorrow, i search again for a pocket.  and i pick up my pen.

sending a little love your way, m