Moving into a New Season

656sedum

It’s the first day of autumn and I’m glad.  Glad for the turn of season and all that goes with it.  The sinking into rhythms with the kids, their schoolwork, their activities. The changing patterns of light in the sky and upon our tables and walls and hardwood floors.  The (intense) energy of summer days giving way to something quieter, something slower, something other.

At a time when growth outside my door is slowing, I feel something building within me.  It’s been building for some time (months, years) (a lifetime).  And I can’t quite put it into words for you.  But I feel it. It’s a vague sense of being on the edge of something.  On the edge of (some sort of) clarity.

Clarity on how to move in this world.  And, of course, I’m already moving in this world (gently, I hope).  But I feel a shift coming.  It won’t be groundbreaking to anyone but me.  But I will break ground.  I feel it.

On this first day of autumn, I write these words and look out at the autumn sedum. The autumn sedum is my herald of autumn, perhaps more so than the first falling leaves.  I’ve watched the sedum over the summer.  Watched their leaves form and their stalks grow tall.  Watched their clusters of tiny blooms form, green in their newness.  Watched and waited.  Waited for those dear little clusters to turn from green to a rusty, dusty, wine-colored pink.  And when they change, I feel my shoulders drop away from my ears.  I feel the release, the turn.  From one season to another, from one phase of growth to another.

Like the autumn sedum, I feel myself moving from that new and green growth to something different and slightly other.  It’s subtle, so subtle that it’s difficult to put into words.  Nothing is crystal clear (I’m not crystal clear), but there is some degree of focus, some quantity of surety.  And then…there’s a bit of blur at the edges.  And you know what?  I’m okay with the edges being a bit blurred.  Am, in fact, welcoming the softness of those edges and spaces.

Who says we have to have it All Figured Out?  Well, I know who says that.  But I choose not to listen, choose not to believe in that way of being.  Rather than figure things out, I choose simply to move through it.  I choose to make time to notice it.  I choose to make space to embrace and appreciate and surrender.  I choose to go with it, with intention.

It? This life, I mean.

Happy Autumn, my friends.
May you turn gently and go in the way that you need to go.

Sending a little love your way, m

 

 

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Moving into a New Season

  1. Beautiful thoughts, Michelle. Autumn does feel like such a huge shift in many ways, I feel it too. Whatever your changes turn out to be, I wish you nothing but happiness. Happy Autumn, Happy Friday and have a lovely weekend. Much love xx

  2. I can’t even believe it is autumn already… But I really am finally ready to settle into all the cozy lovelyness that it brings. I am so far from having anything figured out and like you, I just fine with that. The essence of everything is really right in the every moment. The now. I really have to get some Sedum for my garden. ;) Happy Autumn! Cheers with some nice warm steaming tea for each of us. xox 🍂🍁🍂✨

  3. Oh Michelle, it is so true what you write, that this during this change of the season I feel a change within me as well. No wonder I love your blog so much; you put into words so beautifully all the emotions I feel. Go gently into this new stage, dear friend! xx

Please join the conversation...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s