I Want…

I want to write and my hand is still.
I want to photograph and my camera rests in place.
I want to blend and I stand out.
I want to eat mindfully and I am mindless.
I want to feel rested and I am tired.
I want to be patient and I am discouraged.
I want to move forward and I run in circles.
I want to love and I judge.
I want to be silent and I speak too quickly.
I want to see and my vision is blurry.
I want to be here and I am there.

I am human and I am trying.
I am learning and I am growing.
I am me and I am no one other.
Sat Nam.  Sat Nam.  Sat Nam.


*the meaning of Sat Nam


12 thoughts on “I Want…

  1. Thank you so much for this. My heart hurts every single day lately, and if nothing else, I am comforted in the fact that I am not alone in these thoughts you have written here. I could have written each and every one. I hope you realize that you are also not alone in this either. Also thank you for sharing Sat Nam. Something to help with all these swirly emotions and hurts and wondering what to do.

    1. I’m sorry for your aching heart (also, I know what you mean). No, we are definitely not alone…it’s nice to be reminded, isn’t it? I thank you too.

      Sat Nam…the words feel comforting, reassuring, healing. I hope they help with your swirly emotions and hurts. xo

  2. Thanks for exactly describing how I’m feeling. Your words also put it all in perspective as everything is listed so orderly contrary to how all these thoughts have until now just been a disorganised jumble in my head so that it was more difficult to see the whole picture.

    1. I’m so glad this resonated with you, Kiki; thanks for letting me know.
      I spend time with disorganized jumble in my head too (so I know what you mean)…it’s good to pause and put it down where I (and you) can see it. Definitely helps.

  3. Your words have mirrored exactly the way I have felt for some time. I keep trying to get ahead of this Covid funk, but yes….this.

  4. It’s so hard to remain right here, in this present moment, all the time isn’t it? I find, however, that I am so much more at peace when I do. It its amazing to me how much my ego wants me to be troubled, to be anxious, how it tries so hard to create drama in my life. I’m getting better at recognizing it when it does but I am always thankful for reminders such as your lovely words.

    1. It can be really hard! It’s a practice, yes? None of us is present in every moment, all the time…just not realistic. But to notice it – to recognize it, as you’re getting better at doing – that’s it. That’s where it’s at. xo

  5. I had not heard of Sat Nam. I do know being settled right here right now, whatever the mess, is hard to accept. When I don’t know where to turn, tuning in to here and now brings me calm


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