softer all around

I drive to spend the afternoon with my son.  We hike.  We get pizza for dinner.  It’s a good day.

I spend time with wonderful women every day this week.  At the yoga studio.  In October’s The Quiet Page session (these women work magic).  In a Zoom conversation with a lovely and gentle friend.  These women – all of them – fill my heart.

There is cleaning and tidying up the house, a phone call with my mom.  I finally remove the curtain rod brackets, spackle, repaint.  I text my sister to say Happy Birthday.  As soon as I send my message, I realize I have dates confused in my head.  Not the date of her birthday (that is clear) but the date that it actually is.  I am two days ahead of myself.  I tell myself to slow down.  I open my planner and look at the dates lined up perfectly in their row.  I let the dates rearrange themselves properly in my mind.  My sister will receive two birthday texts this week.  Bonus?

The light is getting softer.  Even at its brightest and highest midday, it’s different.  I like summer, but the sun’s heat and intense light wear me down, overwhelm me.  I crave less, I crave dimmer, I crave other.  I’m happy that the twinkle lights come on earlier, happy that they stay on longer.  Yes, the light is softer all around.

The fullness of this week has me flustered at moments.  But if the worst of it is sending double birthday wishes, then I guess I’m more than alright with that.  My sister doesn’t mind.  Almost no one minds as much as we think they’ll mind – with anything.  We think we know, but we don’t really.

I have been a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars.
I started listening to the teaching of my soul.
~ Rumi ~


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12 thoughts on “softer all around

  1. A lovely and gentle friend…thank you Michelle. I saw your words and immediately smiled.

    YOU are lovely and gentle as well, I hope you know that I see you that way! 🙂

  2. I find myself doing that quite often these days–not always 100% sure what day it is (unless it’s Tuesday–that’s co-op day and Girl Scout day, so Tuesdays are inescapably clear) until I look at the calendar. And sometimes I even find myself wondering if it really matters that much–unless I have to be somewhere, the kids and chickens don’t care if it’s Thursday or Friday, they still need to be cared for and lessons still need to happen. Dog needs to be walked, dinner needs to be cooked. So maybe it’s okay if I don’t always know, as long as the needful things happen? :)

    1. I think about this too, Helena. In some ways, it’s refreshing to live this way – to allow for the fluidity/neutrality of days…”as long as the needful things happen”, as you said. That’s lovely, and yes.

  3. Aw that’s so nice to read. I bet you gave your sister a giggle, and happy to hear you had good times with your boy. I’m off to visit mine next week, fingers xt it goes well!

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