excessively gentle

It is quite the week, again.  Full in so many ways, none of them bad, but all together, a lot.  I am close to overwhelm and, if it’s possible to be a tiny bit overwhelmed—though this seems a word, a condition that is either/or, very big or not at all—I am, a tiny bit.  But (a tiny bit) overwhelmed with an underpinning of peace.  Again and again, I pause, try to make thoughtful choices about what I’m doing in any given moment.  I juggle multiple projects, tuck my loved ones into the mix, try to fold into myself as well.  It’s not easy, this juggling and tucking and folding.  Somehow, I manage.  Somehow, I arrive at the end of this week, feathers extending, floating on the wind.

As part of a freelance writing job I’ve taken on, I learn to use new-to-me apps that record, transcribe, connect.  I work with a beautiful team.  It’s new and stimulating, and (a tiny bit) overwhelming. There is juggling, there is love (yes, in this work there is love), there is a folding into, a trusting in.

Midweek, I gather online with a few lovely women to write, and to rest.  At the last minute, a few registered participants can’t make it so we end up being a cozy group of five.  It’s perfect and as it needs to be.  The women share and write, and trust me when it’s time to rest—without words or music, with only themselves—until the chiming of bells brings us back together.  As it needs to be.  I share a poem by John O’Donohue, For One Who is Exhausted.  I think it strikes a chord for each of them, perhaps in different ways but, yes, a chord, a note.  They are a song.  And, two days later, my heart is singing.

Our succulent, Swordtail, has grown a stem, a tendril, an arm that reaches out and up.  At the end of this stem are little, white flowers.  What a surprise to notice this stem growing, how enchanting to discover flowers.  What a delight, during this very full week, on the tail of two previously very full weeks, to be reminded of the beauty in stretching oneself beyond the known experience, the known expression.  Spiky Swordtail is graceful and not-just-spiky.  I, too, am not always what I appear to be.

Each day, I endeavor to be gentle with myself, excessively so. 

I fold in, I trust, I love, I learn, I reach, I (begin to) blossom.

Be excessively gentle with yourself.
~ John O’Donohue ~

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10 thoughts on “excessively gentle

  1. I hated missing this week’s gathering! I tried to jam in too much in too little time. Sigh! I look forward to doing the digital packet! xoxoxo

  2. New job sounds exciting even if a little bit overwhelming, but it will settle down to being just whelmed soon enough I think :) wish I could have been with you in the online writing class, I’m quite rubbish at it on my own! So that’s what it is, a Swordtail! I have one and never knew what it was called and was very surprised when it shot out the long tail with flowers. I am away from home now, in the south where it is hot as hell, we are not so used to high temps as y’all are over the pond, can’t believe I’m missing the grey skies of home! Being very gentle with myself is my mantra today!

    1. I like that…settling down to just being whelmed ;)

      If you’re ever able to join the writing class, it’d be wonderful to have you! It’s extra special to write together…understood on not always being easy to do so on one’s own.

      And Swordtail is our name for the plant! (we name all our plants ;) It’s a Haworthia.
      So amazing when it shoots out that stem with flowers…I never expected that!

      I hope you’re enjoying your visit in the south despite the heat. Those grey skies are going to be so comforting once you return home!

      Sending all the gentle vibes… xo


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