:: noticing the moments ::

taking some time to reflect upon my week…

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:: a walk in the woods, sushi for dinner, time with my three favorite people…all this made for a sweet mother’s day last weekend…hoping you mothers out there had a lovely day too

:: sharing at makings of motherhood this week about food and {my} kids

:: catching myself in moments of overwhelm…slowing down enough to reframe what was really going on…sometimes, so hard

:: my son got new sneakers the other day…his feet are now bigger than mine…ack!

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:: loving, loving, loving this class i’m taking with vivienne

:: feeling really pleased to be a contributor in sprout’s current issue {issue 19: delight}…a sweet collection of poetry, prose, art, prompts, and more

:: standing victorious {for now} in the garden after the last weed was pulled…this pup who moved through the garden with me as i pulled the weeds, sometimes plopping herself on the very spot i was trying to tend…the very cutest of nuisances

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so tell me…how was your week?

sending a little love your way, m

 

 

weeds and metaphors and simple truths

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sometimes i come here knowing exactly what i want to say.  other times, i come with a more vague sense.  today, it is vaguely weeds and metaphors and simple truths.

there are weeds in our garden…a lot of weeds.  actually, it’s more correct to say there were a lot of weeds.  yesterday, i showed up.  it would be fantastic if they magically disappeared {or never appeared at all} but we all know that’s not going to happen.  so i trudged out the back door yesterday, knowing that if the kids and i are going to plant the garden, it must be weeded first.  and so, one by one, i pulled those weeds.  and, eventually, the kids joined me and they pulled a few weeds one by one.  and, while we have one small area left to tackle today, the garden is now a cleared patch of earth – save the herbs already happily growing – ready for seeds.

and so the metaphor…clearing the earth to make room for seeds, for new growth.  it’s so clear to me.  the daily tasks that need my doing so that i open space for inner growth…as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter.sister.friend, as an artist, as a human being.  we all have tasks in our life that just need doing, plain and simple.  some of them are easier than others, but they all need tending.  and if we tend them one by one – because there really is no other way – eventually there is room for things more glorious to take root.  there is room for life.

it’s a simple truth, this clearing away – be it weeds or housecleaning or ill feelings towards another.  we must create an opening that is sometimes physical, sometimes metaphorical in order for expansion to occur.  it’s not always easy, but it is essential.  and, if we’re lucky, there will be a cool breeze and birdsong to help us along.  now, if you’ll excuse me, i’ve got that last bit of weeds to tend to.  wishing you ease in your clearing today…

 

sending  a little love your way, m

 

 

self-care

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last month i wrote about self-care over at makings of motherhood.  i wrote about how i’m working to find little ways to take care of myself throughout the day.  yes, there’s the necessary exercise, healthy eating, rest.  but i’m intently curious to explore random acts of kindness that i can bestow upon myself.  five minutes of reading alone on the couch, an extra five minutes in the hot shower, lingering over a warm cup of tea, putting pen to paper.  little ways that i can bring myself joy.  i’ve touched upon this idea before, here and here.  i believe it’s crucial for everyone, man or woman, wherever we are in our life journey, to take time for ourselves.  your idea of treating yourself might look very different from mine, but it’s important that we all gift ourselves a little something on a regular basis.  i’m not suggesting this is easy.  far from it!  while some of us are very good at this sort of thing, others of us need a little support and reminding.  in my post at makings of motherhood, i provided a link for a downloadable PDF file where you might keep track of your self-care over a week’s time.  it really is quite enlightening to track yourself for one week.  i found that holding myself accountable with this sheet really pushed me to do something each day.  i chose to do very simple things that fit into the course of my day with my two kids are home…making a special cup of green tea latte, writing in my journal, stepping outside to take some photographs.  if you can implement bigger {say, a massage} go for it!  the idea is simply the practice of treating yourself  with love on a regular basis.  because you deserve it.  we all do.

and i definitely believe that, in gifting ourselves, we will have fuller hearts to offer those around us.

this month, i am treating myself daily by exploring self-portraits in photography.  i’ve signed up for a wonderful online class with vivienne.  the class, entitled be your own beloved, fits so well with what i’m working on in my personal life right now.  trying to find ways to love on myself so that i can be really present for myself as well as the people in my life.  last friday and saturday were particularly hectic days for me and, without this class and its prompts, i know i would have just pushed through each of those days.  and sometimes that’s okay, that’s all we can do.  but i was so happy to have committed myself to this month-long class because i played with my camera on those two days when i might otherwise have assumed i was too tired, too busy, too pressed for time.  the photo you see above?  i had an idea in mind for that day’s prompt {playfulness} but it was a crazy day.  i ended up working on my self-portraits in the parking lot at my son’s soccer practice that evening!  and, while i felt a little sheepish, it was so much fun and really gave me a burst of energy late in the day.  now, i’m not suggesting you need to go take self-portraits in a parking lot; that just happened to do the trick for me.  but i imagine you’ve got some ideas of what might feel good to you.  do you?  go do one today, and then try again tomorrow, and the next day.  keep at it.  gift yourself a little love.  take care of you.  it.all.adds.up.

and, in case you’re interested, you can download this to help remind yourself.  after i filled out a week’s worth, i cut it out and glued it into my journal.  it’s kind of fun to see it tucked inside the pages.  it reminds me to keep at this self-care thing.  it reminds me to be good to me.

now, go on.  go be good to you.

 

sending a little love your way, m

 

 

this boy

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this boy…
who just turned twelve
who practically bounced off the walls for three days prior
who came to wake me at 6am sharp so that we could go buy fresh doughnuts for breakfast dessert

this boy…
who wanted to see fish on his birthday
so we settled on the zoo and enjoyed other animals as well
who wanted to try out his new golf clubs
so we headed to the range after dinner and used every last ball

this boy…
who has requested the same birthday dinner for years now
which consists of new york strip steak, homemade fettuccine
(because he only likes mine, and i don’t mind admitting that this pleases me to no end),
adults-only vegetables, all followed by boston cream pie

this boy…
who listens to recorded lectures about black holes and space time
and enjoys video games more than i would like
who can read for hours at a time when lost in a fictional series
and who enjoys family read-alouds perhaps as much as i

this boy…
who has become very sporty but who also draws and paints with skill
who wrote haikus during april for national poetry month
and who runs his heart out on the soccer field, trying this new-to-him sport with a team full of boys who’ve been playing for years

this boy…
whose sense of humor is gaining sophistication
while also allowing for the less sophisticated, bodily-functions-type humor which cracks up his younger sister, ahem

this boy…
who gives the gentlest kisses
and asks his dad how his day at work went
and who, whenever i’m having a really lousy day, knows this and always finds some moment in the day to pat my back and ask if i’m okay

this boy…
he is a treasure, i tell you

 

sending a little love your way, m

 

 

i want to tell you…it was good

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what i want to tell you
is how good today was
with my hands covered in paint
and my husbands’ covered as well
and the shed looking like new
and the kids’ hands digging into the earth
arranging stones
transplanting mint
that wafted to my nose
as i stood high on ladder rungs
and then droplets fell from the grey sky
and we moved indoors
for strawberries, sandwiches, soup
which warmed chilled bones and bellies
and we laughed
and we were full
and it was good

 

:: written the other day, but still floating in my heart ::

sending a little love your way, m

 

 

 

 

:: noticing the moments ::

taking some time to reflect upon my week…

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:: driving down long stretches of road, trees on either side of me…noting the variations on green…have you looked?  incredible

:: both kids trying soccer for the first time this spring, and both enjoying it a lot…practices, games, friendly kicking in the backyard

:: the blossoms, oh the blossoms

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:: realizing that i flag a lot of my emails, intending to come back to them (especially homeschool messages filled with resources)…wishing there was some way to double or triple flag…that would remind me, non?

:: my daughter getting existential on me the other day…why am i here, mama?  why am i a human?  why?

:: do you have a recipe that you return to again and again?  and, every once in a while, for some reason, it turns out exceptionally delicious?  yesterday it was the blueberry muffins

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:: all of you who left comments on this post…holy wow, you blew me away with your love and kindness and open hearts…it was not what i expected…i was deeply touched by each of you and i thank you xo

:: reading this with the kids…humorous and poignant, told from a gorilla’s point of view…i watched the kids’ reactions as i read, and knew they were feeling, understanding, considering so much

:: rice noodles, fish sauce, sugar, garlic, scallions, eggs…voila, pad thai (and, voila, a smile on my face)

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so, tell me, how was your week?  did you gather some moments?

 

sending a little love your way, m

 

 

conversations

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:: little girls ::
walking behind my daughter and her friend, i listen to the exchange between these sweet girls.  their soft (for the moment) voices, their giggles, their eight-ear old anecdotes bring a smile to my face.

:: siblings ::
after picking my son up from his wilderness class, he sits in the back seat with his sister and regales her with tales of the woods.  he’s exhausted from the long day, but he speaks with spirit and pride.

:: canine ::
she whimpers and whines as dinner dishes are placed on the kitchen counter.  she smells the steak and believes scraps are her due.  i’m pretty sure i know exactly what she says.

:: he and i ::
there is talk of a birthday gift for our son who turns twelve next week.  as we discuss the gift, i quickly run through the last decade+ in my mind.  and i cannot quite wrap my mind around this.

:: blooms ::
each year, i think there must be some kind of secret and hushed conversation among the dormant plants of our world.  is it time?  what do you think?  yes, it’s time!  not quite yet, hold just a bit longer.  okay, let’s do this!  and then the world explodes into a carnival of color.  and so many of us feel our hearts soar and the corners of our mouths turn up in a smile.

these are some of the conversations weaving their way through my days…creating texture and connection…engaging, informing, and softening me.  what are the conversations in your world?

sending a little love your way, m

 

 

*** playing along with bella at 52 photos project.  this week is the first week of her third year (yay, bella!) running this project.  click here for details.  you can play along every week, or just pop in whenever you like.  all levels are welcome!  you can click here to view the week 1 :: conversation gallery.

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